In the third and final instalment of her lecture series on gender equality as IPS’ 8th S R Nathan Fellow for the Study of Singapore, Corinna Lim zeroed in on norms of masculinity that are harmful and the perpetuation of misogynistic gender norms in Singapore. She also touched on various issues such as National Service (NS), the prevalence of school bullying, and sex education in Singapore.
Men and Masculine Norms
Ms Lim brought up the concept of toxic masculinity norms — unhealthy societal beliefs and practices that skew and shape males’ views of what it means to be an ideal man. Some examples that she gave include suppressing one’s emotions, sexual promiscuity or “playboy” behaviour and aggressive dominance.
A majority of the men she interviewed mentioned the exertion of dominance over other men, as a way to demonstrate their masculinity. She also said that men are often peer pressured to establish their male prowess through “locker room” exchanges like circulating sexual messages and images that objectify women. Ms Lim argued that men find it difficult to call out such acts of behaviour as it undermines their masculinity and risks social ostracism.
“The pressure to prove their manhood is constant. Women don’t face a similar challenge,” Ms Lim remarked.
She also drew attention to research indicating that negative masculine norms are harmful to the well-being of men, noting that the suicide rate for men is double that of women in Singapore and many countries around the world.
Bullying and Violence
Ms Lim pointed out that physical violence and bullying is inextricably linked to toxic masculinity norms.
There is a high level of social pressure in schools to make boys conform to traditional masculine norms, also known as gender policing, she added. She highlighted a 2017 survey conducted by the Association of Women for Action and Research (AWARE), which showed that nine in 10 teenage boys faced social pressure to be “manly” through teasing, harassment, bullying and social exclusion. They were told to “man-up” and “take it like a man”. Those considered effeminate were taunted with derogatory expletives like “sissy” or “gay”.
She noted that boys who were pressured to conform to masculine norms were four times more likely to commit violence against others, engendering a pattern of violence.
Ms Lim also called for sustained work to engage boys and men in preventing gender violence, pointing to research that suggests a connection between childhood bullying and violence against women.
To that end, Ms Lim pushed for the government to commission a study on masculinity as part of the upcoming gender equality review, in a bid to promote positive masculinity norms among boys and men. Given the lack of research on the topic of masculinity in Singapore, this could be helpful in understanding men’s development and other related issues like violence against women and men’s health, she said, alluding to similar reviews conducted in the United Kingdom and Australia.
Ms Lim also recommended establishing men’s support centres that provide coaching and support groups, where men can openly share coping strategies and receive peer support and guidance on navigating their difficulties.
She stressed that men should not feel ashamed or judged in stepping forward to use these support services, emphasizing that it should be a safe environment for them to express their vulnerabilities.
Reviewing National Service
National Service remains a key obstacle to gender equality, Ms Lim said, pointing to research that revealed NS as the top reason that men invoke to oppose gender equality in Singapore.
Addressing what her male interviewees described as a “hyper-masculine experience” in NS, she explained how the exclusion of women, the use of homophobic and misogynistic slurs as well as the constant shaming and humiliation by superiors gives rise to a toxic masculine environment that places a premium on ruggedness and sexual virility.
Ms Lim proposed reviewing Basic Military Training to eradicate toxic masculine practices that distort men’s perceptions of masculinity.
She also suggested expanding NS to include non-combat vocations such as community and social work, as well as roles in the healthcare sector.
Ms Lim acknowledged that the request to review NS will require a lot of consideration, but that we should do this given Singapore’s shrinking and ageing population that rely heavily on support from care workers.
“Ultimately, we should make NS totally gender neutral so that everyone, regardless of gender, can opt for two years military, police, civil defence, community or healthcare, and whatever other total defence areas that need people,” she added.
“The equal participation of women in NS will automatically make NS less toxically masculine.”
Youth, Pornography and Sex Education in Singapore
Ms Lim also discussed the pervasiveness of pornography consumption among male youths, quoting a 2015 study which found that nine out of 10 boys in Singapore have watched or read sexually explicit materials.
She noted that in the absence of adequate sex education, men turn to porn as a guide for how to act and respond to intimacy. It creates unrealistic depictions and expectations of sex. In turn, this can foster unhealthy sexual relationships in the long term.
Ms Lim said that the prevalence of violent porn was especially concerning. Research has shown that those who watch violent porn were six times more likely to engage in sexually aggressive behaviour, Ms Lim warned.
In her view, the only effective antidote to this is a robust sex education curriculum in schools and called for a more comprehensive curriculum that goes beyond teaching abstinence before marriage, and focuses on consent, respect and healthy relationships.
Gender violence, norms and stereotypes should also be included, she said.
Ms Lim pressed the government to conduct research on the sexual behaviour and needs of youths today as part of its gender equality review and invest in training teachers to conduct gender-focused education programmes.
“If our teachers are gender-trained, the possibilities for stimulating young minds to learn about gender in the real world are endless and once they see the inequalities, they will naturally work towards fixing it,” she argued.
Q&A Session
After the lecture, former Nominated Member of Parliament, Ms Eunice Olsen, moderated the session and asked how men can help move the needle towards gender parity. In response, Ms Lim encouraged men to reflect on and be aware of unconscious gender biases within society, especially in the workplace, and also nudged men who are typically emotionally distant, to display more affectionate behaviour to their spouses and children. She contended that it is vital for boys to see their primary male role models in the family being comfortable with expressing emotions and connecting with their feelings.
Responding to a comment that women’s participation in NS would be a “double penalty” as they already perform informal social duties like childbirth and domestic care, Ms Lim disagreed with the sentiment that childbirth is a form of national service. She added that it is “not the right idea”. She said that the aim is to work towards a position where both women and men are seen as equally capable of doing both national service and the caregiving of family members.
Ms Lim was also asked if women play a part in contributing to toxic masculinity, given that men with more masculine traits are perceived as more sexually appealing. She concurred that women can be part of the problem in reinforcing negative constructions of masculinity and said it was important for everyone to reflect on their own attitudes and to also look at the structures that enforce these attitudes.
On the issue of whether talking about sex as part of comprehensive sex education will encourage youths to engage in sexual activities, Ms Lim cited a review commissioned by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation (UNESCO) in 2018. The review, titled the International technical guidance on sexuality education, concluded that comprehensive sex education delays time of first sex and results in adolescents having fewer sexual partners as well as practising safer sex habits.
On the issue of raising stiffer penalties to punish and deter sexual offenders amid a rise in sexual misconduct cases, Ms Lim cautioned that imposing unnecessarily harsh sentences might deter the victim from reporting the abuse. While the accountability of the perpetrator is important, victims also need to receive the necessary validation and support during the investigation process, she added.
Addressing the #MeToo movement’s exacerbation of “trial by social media”, where accused sexual offenders are judged not in the court of law, but on social networking sites and online discussion forums, Ms Lim acknowledged the challenges in managing the vitriolic knee-jerk reactions on social media. However, she maintains that these platforms provide victims with the avenue to publicly confront alleged perpetrators of sexual misconduct.
To build more options for rehabilitation and meditated settlements of sexual harassment cases, she suggested incorporating an apology law in Singapore’s criminal justice system to incentivise disputing parties to make apologies while avoiding legal liabilities, though she admitted this may not be accepted by the aggrieved party.
Capping off the series of lectures, Ms Lim voiced her optimism about the future of gender equality in Singapore and urged Singaporeans to join in on the conversations and co-create solutions that work towards a more gender equal society.
Click here to watch the video of lecture III.